1. not showing or feeling nervousness, anger or other strong emotion;
2. (of the weather) pleasantly free from wind.
verb.:
make (someone) tranquil and quiet, soothe.
After a long period of quiet, I finally got around writing another blog. It was long overdue. The frequency of my blogs was usually one's a month - even if I wanted to write more.
So, why didn't I write then?
The are multiple reasons applicable:
a. life got in the way
b. lack of time
c. lack of energy
d. frustration
e. lack of inspiration
All of the above? Well, actually: it's a chain reaction. Life getting in the way created lack of time and lack of energy, which caused frustration and, yes, - as a result of that - lack of inspiration.
The way life works is: you have to have a job to have a life, and you have to have a life to be able to enjoy your passions. But it's not exactly 1+1=2. In my case anyway.
Just to be clear: I love my job. I feel content to be where I am, doing what I do. But sometimes I get frustrated. Why? Because if I put all my energy in one aspect of my life, say: work, the other part suffers. Living with physical limitations, you have less energy to spread.
It's like a delicious cake you have to cut in two halfs. Every half is equally important. But then, sometimes when you haven't payed that much attention, someone ate from that part you craved for.
Yes, writing is important to me. Creativity makes me feel alive. So, yes, I would love to write more. But a change is on the horizon.
For this change to come, I need to be calm.
Meditation.
So, what did I do?
I meditated.
For a few months I neglected to meditate daily. Even when my core knew I needed it, I dismissed it. Dismissed "me-time". Convinced myself I could get by for a while without it. But then you start to loose focus. You are only looking outward. Being there for everything, everyone. Except for... well, me! And you know what, without really noticing it, a hurricane moved inside me. It was quite the silent type. No roar. It stayed within the walls. Until it couldn't anymore. I only noticed it when it was too strong. When it knocked me down.
But, as I said: a change was gonna come.
I now know that meditation is a universal caress: pure delight. And why would I want to do without it?
Today, just before writing this blog, I sat down on my meditation spot for half an hour guided by Bodhipaksa's voice. He guided me through body aches and tightness. By following my breath. Breathing in... And out... And in... And out.
Some of the tension remained - my belly wasn't quite ready to let go completely - but the tightness, the muscle aches, got replaced by pure joy: "Go. Write. Now." it told me. And so I did.
Change.
Ok. So I have to write to embrace my life fully. I get it now. I need to create the possibility to be surprised by life's lessons. Inhale the moments that take my breath away, hold on to that breath for a moment before I exhale. That moment in between two breaths: that no-mans land, that promise of more to come, that glimps of what's to come - that's what writing is for me.
So I guess, you could say that my breath has lead me to the next decision:
creating more time to write.
And so I did. I changed the way I live each day. Cut the day in two halfs, just like the cake. Creating the possibility to create. Embracing work and passion. After three p.m. of each day I am creating. From this day foreward. Whether this is in my head, on paper or on the computer screen.
c. lack of energy
d. frustration
e. lack of inspiration
All of the above? Well, actually: it's a chain reaction. Life getting in the way created lack of time and lack of energy, which caused frustration and, yes, - as a result of that - lack of inspiration.
The way life works is: you have to have a job to have a life, and you have to have a life to be able to enjoy your passions. But it's not exactly 1+1=2. In my case anyway.
Just to be clear: I love my job. I feel content to be where I am, doing what I do. But sometimes I get frustrated. Why? Because if I put all my energy in one aspect of my life, say: work, the other part suffers. Living with physical limitations, you have less energy to spread.
It's like a delicious cake you have to cut in two halfs. Every half is equally important. But then, sometimes when you haven't payed that much attention, someone ate from that part you craved for.
Yes, writing is important to me. Creativity makes me feel alive. So, yes, I would love to write more. But a change is on the horizon.
For this change to come, I need to be calm.
Meditation.
So, what did I do?
I meditated.
For a few months I neglected to meditate daily. Even when my core knew I needed it, I dismissed it. Dismissed "me-time". Convinced myself I could get by for a while without it. But then you start to loose focus. You are only looking outward. Being there for everything, everyone. Except for... well, me! And you know what, without really noticing it, a hurricane moved inside me. It was quite the silent type. No roar. It stayed within the walls. Until it couldn't anymore. I only noticed it when it was too strong. When it knocked me down.
But, as I said: a change was gonna come.
I now know that meditation is a universal caress: pure delight. And why would I want to do without it?
Today, just before writing this blog, I sat down on my meditation spot for half an hour guided by Bodhipaksa's voice. He guided me through body aches and tightness. By following my breath. Breathing in... And out... And in... And out.
Some of the tension remained - my belly wasn't quite ready to let go completely - but the tightness, the muscle aches, got replaced by pure joy: "Go. Write. Now." it told me. And so I did.
Change.
Ok. So I have to write to embrace my life fully. I get it now. I need to create the possibility to be surprised by life's lessons. Inhale the moments that take my breath away, hold on to that breath for a moment before I exhale. That moment in between two breaths: that no-mans land, that promise of more to come, that glimps of what's to come - that's what writing is for me.
So I guess, you could say that my breath has lead me to the next decision:
creating more time to write.
And so I did. I changed the way I live each day. Cut the day in two halfs, just like the cake. Creating the possibility to create. Embracing work and passion. After three p.m. of each day I am creating. From this day foreward. Whether this is in my head, on paper or on the computer screen.
I am sure of one thing though: it's going to surprise me. Creative fluids inside my brain, emotions in my heart, finding a way to my fingers.
I once heard a kid on a terrace somewhere say to his grandparents while licking his icecream: 'This is my best day of today!'
I finally wrote another blog. It makes me insanely happy. So yes - "this ís my best day of today!" Is it yours too?
Love, San
I once heard a kid on a terrace somewhere say to his grandparents while licking his icecream: 'This is my best day of today!'
I finally wrote another blog. It makes me insanely happy. So yes - "this ís my best day of today!" Is it yours too?
Love, San
